There’s a peculiar phenomenon in modern media that never fails to make me snort-laugh into my tea: the gratuitous insertion of someone’s parental status into headlines, no matter how irrelevant. “Grandmother Discovers Ancient Roman Coin in Backyard!” “Father of Two Convicted of Drink Driving!” And let’s not forget the crowd-pleaser, “Mother of Three Wins Bake-Off After Storming Out of Book Club!” It’s as though parenting is the ultimate plot twist, the spice that headlines need to keep us hooked.

If you’ve ever stepped into a conversation with a narcissist, you’ll know it’s a bit like falling into a surreal, upside-down world where logic seems to evaporate. The words are English, sure. But the meanings twist and warp, and before you know it, you’re grappling with emotional smoke bombs rather than a straightforward exchange of ideas. Let’s dive into this phenomenon and explore why, for some people, logic is as welcome as a vegan dish at a Texas BBQ.

Forget kale, quinoa, or whatever chia-sludge concoction Gwyneth Paltrow is swearing by this week. I’ve uncovered the real superfood that Big Health doesn’t want you to know about: chocolate raisins. Yes, those little squishy nuggets of sweetened pseudo-fruit, lovingly embalmed in a thin layer of cocoa-based indulgence. Not only are they delicious, but they’re also basically the pinnacle of human nutritional engineering – and I’m ready to fight the internet over it.

Ah, Christmas. A time for love, family, and orchestrating a performance so grand it could sweep the Oscars for Best Avoidance of Domestic Duties. This year, I found myself starring in an unscripted production I like to call “The Strategic Art of Weaponised Incompetence: A Christmas Kitchen Survival Story.” The goal? Escape from the culinary trenches without being labelled a complete scrooge.

It’s finally happening: X is shedding users faster than a reality show loses relevance after its finale. Post-election, a virtual mass migration has begun, with waves of weary souls leaving the once-beloved bird app behind and flocking to BlueSky. Why? Because X—formerly known as Twitter, but currently known as a 24/7 circus of bots, propaganda, and rage—has officially gone full dystopia. And when a place like BlueSky exists, where the air’s clearer and the conversations less…deranged, the choice seems obvious.