Forget kale, quinoa, or whatever chia-sludge concoction Gwyneth Paltrow is swearing by this week. I’ve uncovered the real superfood that Big Health doesn’t want you to know about: chocolate raisins. Yes, those little squishy nuggets of sweetened pseudo-fruit, lovingly embalmed in a thin layer of cocoa-based indulgence. Not only are they delicious, but they’re also basically the pinnacle of human nutritional engineering – and I’m ready to fight the internet over it.