A dark place
The world has a different tint today, a shade darker, a notch colder. The news of my best friend’s brain tumour diagnosis, a thunderclap of shock, is echoing in the silence of my soul. I’ve spent the past 24 hours ricocheting between disbelief, fear, and a profound asdness that seems to have permeated every fibre of my being.
This morning, under the pattering rain of the shower, I found my carefully erected walls crumbling down. Each drop seemed to trace the path of my unshed tears, merging with the rivers of grief that threatened to drown me. My mind, ever the architect of scenarios, painted a picture I dread to face – her funeral.
Usually, my logical mind acts as a fortress against such cataclysmic leaps. It’s trained to separate emotions from facts, to subdue irrational fears and overreactions. Yet, in the face of such devastating news, I find this fortress breached, my fears uncontained. The world of probabilities, of worst-case scenarios, has enveloped me in its shadow, forcing me into a relentless tumble down the rabbit hole of grief and fear.
As I grapple with this tempest of emotions, I’m acutely aware that this dark place in which I find myself is a mere flicker compared to the abyss she must be navigating. My dear friend, standing on the precipice of the unknown, facing her mortality. It’s a chilling thought, one that solidifies the bitter reality of our situation.
Yet, I’m here. And I will remain here – in this uncomfortable space of heartbreak and fear, of uncertainty and helplessness – for her. For now, my task is clear. To anchor myself amidst this storm, to provide a beacon of steady light in the surrounding darkness. For her, I’ll strive to transform my fear into courage, my grief into hope, my uncertainty into unwavering support. For no matter how deep this dark place is, our bond, our shared history, and our enduring love will guide us through.
Leave a Comment