Shock and disbelief
Today, the phone rang. It was a call from my closest friend, a voice I’ve come to associate with comfort and camaraderie. But her words today, they fell like lead weights, shattering the tranquillity of the moment. “Are you sitting down?” she asked, and in the silence that followed, my world tilted.
She shared her news—the diagnosis that a consultant had unearthed a brain tumour, a mass the size of a tennis ball. Each word echoed in my mind, a cruel symphony of dread. The reality seemed to warp around me, my heart pounded in sync with the deafening silence following her confession.
Once the call ended, shock set in, rapidly, relentlessly. My reality fragmented, like shards of glass splintering from a mirror. The logical part of my mind, usually so composed, unravelled. I was dismantled, my emotions no longer the quiet whispers I was accustomed to, but a howling storm of fear and uncertainty.
The tumour, an ominous phantom in the narrative of my friend’s life, was a shock. Yet, it was the waiting that twisted the knife further—a two-week period of stasis, where the future is shrouded in a terrifying fog of the unknown. Every passing second dripped heavily, like molasses—a bitter reminder of the agonizing wait.
For all my scientific understanding and programming logic, this was a puzzle I could not solve, a problem I could not debug. The world of codes and hypotheses seemed irrelevant in the face of this raw, painful reality. In its place stood fear, despair, and a terrible sense of powerlessness.
I’ve written these words, let them spill onto this page, not as an act of surrender but as a testament of this battle—my friend’s fight against an uninvited invader and my own struggle with the emotions it has stirred. It’s in the face of such uncertainties that the need for this introspective exploration, this diary, becomes even more pertinent. In this shared silence, amid the chaos, writing becomes my anchor, a steadying force against the turmoil of my thoughts.
And so, the wait begins. As I brace for the unknown, I take solace in the bonds we’ve formed, in the strength of my dear friend, and in the hope that no matter what, we’re in this together.
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